Criticwatch

"NO DEAL!”

Despite some surprisingly positive reviews for last week’s The Forbidden Kingdom (which has garnered the necessary 60%+ rating at Rotten Tomatoes for a fresh rating), Lions Gate used none of the reviews in the ads. That all changed this week as they managed to get some heavy hitters like A.O. Scott (“Dazzling!”), David Edelstein (“Great fun!”) and Richard Roeper (“Great humor!”). But stuck right there at the end is Mike Sargent; infamous last year for basically getting caught admitting on Inside Edition that he sometimes has provided quotes for films he hasn’t even seen.

The radio host, known in his circles as “Mr. No Show”, has provided a pair for the martial arts un-extravaganza, one for the papers (“Forbidden Kingdom is pure entertainment!”) and my favorite for the television spots (“Jackie Chan and Jet Li are at the top of their game!”) Chan is 54 and the Jet is 45. Now I don’t like calling attention to age, particularly when Jackie, arguably, made the most awe-dropping film of his entire career when he was nearly 40 (Drunken Master II), but c’mon. Saying that these two legends are at “the top of their game” in a film barely worthy of Jackie’s English skills let alone his moves, is like saying Kathleen Turner today has never been more doable.

And as my current favorite mini-story of the week, the poker film Deal, directed by Gil Cates Jr. (yes, the son of the Oscar’s producer) is hitting the big doughnut at Rotten Tomatoes. Less than Prom Night’s 9% and the 6% shared by 88 Minutes and Fox’s latest stinker, Deception. ZERO PERCENT. That’s with 16 critics accounted for by 8:40 AM Friday; 6 of whom I’m happy to say are colleagues of mine in Chicago. With my review and you’ve got the Chicago 7 telling you how crappy Deal is. Who is going to be the first critic to post something positive about Deal? And a statement from the World Poker Tour (extensively promoted in the film’s final act) used on the radio spots (“An edge-of-your-seat thrill ride. Deal is the poker film for poker fans”) does not count by a longshot. We will be watching, so prepare to be outed right here on Criticwatch if you are the one to break Deal’s perfect shit streak at R.T.