Criticwatch

Universal this month pulled a very dirty trick on members of the Chicago Film Critics Association and, from what I’m told, some other markets as well. Early reports from colleagues that the studio was going to withhold their latest film, Baby Mama, from online critics until the last possible moment seemed, in a word, silly. Since we know the old-fashioned consciousness about the internet critic are mama’s fanboys in their basements with Jolt Cola I.V.’s connected to their crotches - you can understand their trepidation. After all, why would they be interested in a leading lady MILF who makes constant science-fiction references on one of the funniest shows on television? Silly.

(NOTE: Earlier in the week the Rotten Tomatoes score for Baby Mama was at 90% - 9 out of 10 of those "early reviews" that Universal hoped to avoid by inviting the onliners were positive. Since then, as we get closer to print, the score has dipped to 57% with 8 of the last 11 posted reviews negative. Good call, Universal.)

So, despite having (at least) three confirmed screenings in the Chicagoland area in public theaters with more than enough space to accommodate the membership, more than half of the CFCA were relegated to a screening the night before. And not just online critics. Print and radio were also reduced to this treatment while only a handful of select media were invited as early as April 8 and some were invited to all three (including the 10th & the 17th.) 60 members of the CFCA and, give or take, a third were invited to anything allowing a review before their deadlines.

This is the same studio that screened Forgetting Sarah Marshall at least three times before its opening in the city as well and no one, to my knowledge, was left on the chopping block; a film which got Universal its best reviews of the year - including multiple CFCA members who said it was the funniest movie they had seen so far this year. (I don’t know if its the funniest ever, Mr. Roeper, so let’s scale it back a little - but very funny nevertheless.)

Speaking of chopping blocks, the reason for this lengthy introduction is so we can congratulate Universal for getting precisely what they wanted. Few CFCA members would be so bold as to speak out loud such ostentatious prose for a studio to plaster on the film ads. But WGN Radio’s Dean Richards has let it all hang out and called Baby Mama:

"The freshest, funniest comedy of the year."

WOW! Fresh AND funny? That combo has never been utilized together in film before; and certainly never mentioned here on Criticwatch as the mark of the unintelligible blurb whore. I’m sorry, but this is more embarrassment than anything else. One of Windy City’s own who has done little, if anything, to support the organization, when asked, stays in Universal’s favor by either speaking or e-mailing those words to one of their representatives looking for a reaction to the screening that about two-thirds of his colleagues were denied. How does one sit down to write those words? Is that an honest reaction?

Having not seen the film, I cannot attest to how funny it may very well be. But exactly how fresh is it, four months removed from a year known frequently referred to as the “year of the pregnancy.” Does Knocked Up, Waitress and Juno ring a bell? Baby Mama is about as “fresh” as a Maury Povich episode. But maybe it IS the funniest comedy of the year, but how would I know as I stand with my CFCA brothers and sisters who weren’t invited.

Besides, I have it on good authority from Shawn Edwards that Drillbit Taylor was “the freshest and funniest comedy in a long time.” Good company, Dean.

This just defies all logic.

After being told the anti-Uwe Boll petition (which he had previously said would force him to quit filmaking if it passed a million signatures) was up past 200,000 names, the German hacktastic ‘worst director ever’ has decided to go public with his thoughts.

And it’s every bit as moronic as any film he’s created.

In all honesty, this could be the most unintentionally hilarious YouTube video ever.

Film Title: The Ruins
Released by: Paramount
Tomatometer: 36% (as of Apr. 5, 2008)

The Ruins is the 12th film this year that the studios withheld from the press in 2008. The other ten are: In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale, Meet the Spartans, Rambo, The Eye, Strange Wilderness, Step Up 2 the Streets, Witless Protection, Doomsday, Shutter, Tyler Perry’s Meet the Browns and Superhero Movie. Chances are if you were invited, it was to a 10 PM screening on Thursday night. While reviews haven’t been stellar, Paramount/Dreamworks may have dropped the ball on letting critics see this. Oh wait, they did let a few. At least horror sites Bloody-Disgusting and Shocktilyoudrop got previews early enough to have quotes in the film’s ads as early as this past Tuesday.

"Intense, Disturbing, and gut-wrenching." – Brad Miska, Bloody-Disgusting
"A nightmarish spectacle. It’s a true original." – Ryan Rotten, Shocktilyoudrop.com

Granted, The Ruins is hitting 36% currently at Rotten Tomatoes (higher than ANY of the previous 10 non-screened titles this year) - but that’s still only with 25 reviews while Clooney’s Leatherheads is pulling a 54% with 105 reviews. I love a good horror film as much as the next guy, but I tend not to take the advice of the hardcore (and sometimes exclusive) horror geeks. Many believe they have some further insight into the genre they love so much, when mostly it’s just overt enthusiasm in hoping to prop up the films that generally get nothing but scorn from the critics at large. A bad film is still a bad film though and us perceived snooty critics will support horror when it works. (May I remind everyone that Slither got an 84% RT rating - and I recently sent out an e-mail telling colleagues how much I actually enjoyed the straight-to-video Wrong Turn 2.)

The Ruins is ultimately a failure and a disappointment considering how relentless the book was. (What’s the point of rationing stuff if you’re not going to play it out to its dwindling necessity?) It has its moments but Carter Smith was NOT the right director for the project and The Ruins is a story that absolutely depended on a director who could deliver a 90-minute B-picture that would beat the audience into submission once it got going. Never really happens. But that doesn’t mean that the studio should have held the film from us. As colleague Brian Tallerico told me last evening, "A horror film with a 30%+ rating at Rotten Tomatoes gets me excited."

Rambo will probably in the long run win the dubious title of highest critic percentage on non-screened titles for the year, but The Ruins is going to be up there. The studios usually tend to know when they have a crapburger on their hands, but considering they screened First Sunday, Untraceable, Over Her Dead Body, College Road Trip and 10,000 B.C. in enough time for Friday opening reviews (all films that haven’t hit 20% at RT), The Ruins deserved more of a chance than it got. It’s certainly better than the shit set to top the box office for the second straight weekend. And you can double down on that!